


Human

by aokayinspace



Category: Schitt's Creek
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Different First Meeting, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-28
Updated: 2019-10-28
Packaged: 2021-01-05 04:20:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,139
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21207287
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aokayinspace/pseuds/aokayinspace
Summary: On a night out trolling for randoms with Stevie, David has an unexpected encounter with a man performing at the bar's open mic night.





	Human

**Author's Note:**

> This entire fic just sort of came to me last night after listening to Human by Darren Criss and wouldn't leave my brain until it was finished. If you don't know the song, I highly recommend [listening](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s2XvO0fDXI8) to it before reading this fic. I did include the lyrics to the entire song within the fic, but they just don't give off quite the same feeling without hearing them sung. 
> 
> I'm pretty sure no one is going to get the nod, but the way David and Patrick first meet in this fic comes from an Israeli film that I love called Out In The Dark that sadly got taken off Netflix a few years ago so isn't really accessible. I've tried to work it into fics before, but this is the first time it's ever actually worked. If anyone has actually seen this film, you can be my new best friend! One of the main actors from it came up in something I was watching the other day so even though it's been years since I've had a way to watch it, it's been on my mind.
> 
> I made a choice with regards to David's knowledge (or lack there of) of a certain pop culture reference and I stand by it!
> 
> Okay I think this author's note is long enough so on with the fic now!

David and Stevie had exhausted their efforts trolling for randoms in town so tonight they decided to venture a little further out to Maple Valley. Sure, the hour drive out there wasn’t ideal, but David really needed to just lose himself in a warm body, and preferably a stranger he never had to worry about seeing again. It was times like these he really missed New York. It was so much easier to be anonymous in a sea of millions. 

The bar they ended up in would not have been David’s first choice. The decor was a bit too country chic, it smelled like cheap beer, and there was some kind of amateur music performance going on it which was just incorrect. But hey beggars can’t be choosers and he’d had to severely lower his standard since moving to Schitt’s Creek. 

“If I’m going to be forced to listen to wannabe musicians butcher classics all night, you’re buying the first round,” he said to Stevie, gesturing to the actual cowboy on stage belting out an off key Sweet Home Alabama. 

After a couple rounds of polar bear shots, David and Stevie separated to do some laps around the place trying to if anyone might catch their eye. After circling the place twice and seeing no one remotely worth his time, David settled back at the bar and ordered himself one of those bright fruity cocktails he loved but usually stained his tongue blue so not ideal when aiming to hook up. Since he’d given up on finding anyone to lose himself in for the night, he thought “fuck it” and placed the order. 

While he was waiting for the bartender to make his drink, someone new took the stage. He was definitely a change from the farmers and cowboys as he was dressed in a pressed blue button down and midrange denims. 

“Good evening everyone,” the man said, with a sort of shy, nervousness to his voice. “Um, it’s been a while since I’ve actually performed anything for an audience. I’ve been going through some hard times lately and music has always been sort of an outlet for me. So...um...anyway...I guess I’ll just let the song speak for itself.”

He sat down on the stool and pulled an acoustic guitar to his lap and began to sing. 

_ I feel like a loser _   
_ I feel like I'm lost _   
_ I feel like I'm not sure _   
_ If I feel anything at all _   
_ But believe me _   
_ I'm not helpless _   
_ I just need someone to love _   
_ So my situation's rough _   
_ That just makes me a dumb human _ _   
_Like you.

David felt like someone just sucker punched him in the gut. The soft, sad crooning in the man’s voice, coupled with those lyrics. It was like the song was directed at David. Which was impossible as he’d never laid eyes on this man before. And David would definitely remember a face like that. 

Tears began welling up in David’s eyes and he fought them back. There was no way he was going to cry in this podunk bar over some song from an amateur musician. The only time he’d ever cried in public was that one time at a Mariah Carey concert, because it was Mariah fucking Carey! No offense to the man on the stage, but there was no way a random man singing in a small town bar could ever be on the same level as a goddess like Mariah. No matter how beautiful and heartbreaking a voice the man had. 

_ I feel like a shortstop _   
_ Along third base _   
_ I may just help you but _   
_ I still don't like your face _   
_ But believe me _   
_ I'm not hostile _   
_ I just want to hear you laugh _   
_ When I'm sarcastic like that _   
_ And that just makes me a dumb human _ _   
_Like you.

_ Whyyyyyy _  
_Do I have this incredible need _  
_To stand up and say _  
_Please pay attention?_  
_It's the last thing that I need_  
_To make myself see   
_ _Well, that ain't my intention_

_No _   
_ I feel like an artist _   
_ Who's lost his touch _   
_ He likes himself in his art _   
_ But not his art too much _   
_ But believe me _   
_ I've got something _   
_ I just don't know how to say _   
_ That I'm just fine with the way _   
_ With the way that I'm moving _   
_ But that just makes me a dumb human _   
_ That just makes me _ _   
_That makes me a human like youuuuuu 

David sat transfixed throughout the rest of the song, never once looking away from the man. Eyes drifting from the swift way his fingers glided across the guitar to the almost pained expression on his face as he sang. He was sad the song had to end as he could have watched that man keep singing forever. 

_ Where the fuck did that thought come from? _

David was still so dazed he didn’t even notice the man walking right towards him until he was standing next to David, trying to get the bartender’s attention. Said bartender seemed to currently be a little too preoccupied with some scantily clad co-eds at the other end of the bar. 

“Other people exist here,” the man uttered annoyed under his breath. 

“Allow me,” David said in response and the man turned to look at him as if just noticing David for the first time. 

David stuck two fingers into his mouth and whistled like he used to to hail a cab in the City. The bartender did look up, but just held up and menacing finger in the universal sign for “one minute” then went back to whatever he was doing with the young girls, making no effort to tend to any other customers. 

“Well it might be a while before the douche bag remembers he has a job to do but if you want some of this,” David gestured to his blue drink, “I’m happy to share. I haven’t actually taken a sip yet so it’s all yours if you want.”

The man looked down at the drink then back at David. “What even is that?”

“Sex in the Driveway.”

“Excuse me?” The man sputtered. And oh the things his face was doing made David’s stomach flip.

“That’s the name of the drink. It’s like a Sex on the Beach, but blue, and well, some different ingredients, so I guess not reallI the same. It’s just what it’s called.”

“Oh.” The man looked down at the drink, then back up at David, then back down at the drink again. David raised an eyebrow wordlessly asking again if the man wanted the drink when he looked back up again. 

Instead of just taking the drink, however, the man glanced over toward the bartender, saw he was still preoccupied, then reach across the counter to grab an empty glass from behind the bar. He then proceeded to pour half of David’s drink into the new glass and handed the original glass back to David. 

“This way we both have a drink,” he said. Face still tinged pink with a blush. It was a quite adorable gesture. David had to admit, this man as very cute. 

“I’m David,” David said extending his hand. 

“Patrick.” The man sat down at the empty stool next to David, clearly intending to stay now. 

“That song you sang was beautiful,” David said, earning another shy smile from Patrick. As beautiful as he was looking sad and hurt singing on stage, he was even more beautiful when he smiled. David could stare at that smile forever. 

“Thanks.”

Maybe it was the blue drink hitting him, or maybe the euphoria David was feeling of just being in Patrick’s presence, but the next words out of David’s mouth were not anything he ever intended to admit.

“I have to say, I haven’t been so moved by a live musical performance since Adele’s 2012 Grammy’s performance of Somebody Like You.”

The smile that confession elicited was brighter than the previous ones. David nearly felt blinded by it, which almost made up for the internal conflict he was currently having with himself for admitting something so raw and unguarded. David was usually much more careful with his deepest secrets. 

“Wow. My parents always did say I had a talent for music, but to be compared to Adele. That’s high praise.” David couldn’t tell if the man was making fun of him, or flirting with him. Either way it was doing something to him that was unusual and unsettling. 

“Right,” David said, dragging out the word. “So I didn’t recognize the song. Did you write it?”

If it was possible, Patrick turned another shade of pink darker. “Um, no.” Patrick opened and shut his mouth a few times before continuing, clearly hesitant about whatever he was about to confess. “The song is actually by Darren Criss.”

“The guy from Glee?” David asked, not really sure why Patrick seemed so embarrassed to admit that fact. As far as David knew Darren Criss was a highly successful actor and musician. In fact, David had seen him perform Hedwig and the Angry Inch on Broadway shortly before his life was taken from him. 

“Yeah. Um...but before that. Before Glee, he was kinda well known for something else, which is how I first discovered his music.”

David wracked his brain for any helpful tidbits about Darren Criss’s career but could not recall him even being known before Glee. David hadn’t watched the show himself, but he remembered hearing about it for its portrayal of a gay relationship on prime time television. 

“He and his friends from university wrote a musical about Harry Potter that kinda blew up on YouTube and went viral called A Very Potter Musical. I was maybe a little overly obsessed with it at the time.” Patrick looked away sheepishly, clearly embarrassed by the confession. Well at least David wasn’t the only one baring his soul to a stranger tonight. 

David couldn’t get over how adorably cute this man was. Maybe he wouldn’t be dragging him for a quickie in the men’s room like David had envisioned his evening going, but the night is definitely turning out to be more pleasant than David was expecting. 

David lost track of the time. He and Patrick had been sitting at the bar talking for over an hour when his phone chimed. He looked down to see a text from Stevie. He hadn’t seen her since they parted ways nearly two hours ago. He scanned the bar and didn’t see any sign of her. The crowd had thinned out in the last hour so if she were here he’d definitely had seen her. 

“So I’m finally boring you,” Patrick said.

“What? No!” David replied, realizing he got distracted when the text came through and had zoned out of their conversation. “Sorry, my friend just texted me. We came here together and I haven’t seen her for hours. We don’t exactly live close by so we had a pact that no matter what happened tonight we’d leave together.”

“Oh? And what exactly were your plans for tonight?”

“Ideally, get drunk, have anonymous sex in the bathroom, and skip town before anyone even knows my name.” Again, David is floored by his honest response. It’s not that he’s ashamed of admitting that was his plan, he just usually doesn’t put that out in the open to be judged by people he’d just met. 

“Oh well a little late for that then seeing as we’ve already been introduced.” 

“Well for all you know David could be a fake name I gave you.”

“I don’t believe that’s true, David Rose.” David’s eyes widened. He hadn’t given Patrick his last name! Patrick must have realized he spooked him as he placed his hand over David’s resting in the bar. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to freak you out. I used to work for Rose Video in high school and I kinda pieced together who you were once we started talking.”

“Oh.” David couldn’t decide if it was a good thing or a bad thing Patrick knew who he was. He’d figured it out a while ago and was still here, talking to him, holding his hand. Patrick seemed to realize in that moment his hand was still holding David’s and pulled it away. David had to hold back a whimper at the loss of contact and silently scolded himself for letting this man before him get so deep under her skin so quickly. 

“Is your friend okay?” Patrick asked, and David suddenly remembered the text from Stevie. He grabbed his phone and opened up their text thread. 

**Be back in 10 *winky face***

Well at least one of them got their random tonight. Though David wasn’t exactly jealous she managed to hook up tonight and he didn’t. 

“Yeah. She’ll be back in 10, then we’ll probably head home. It’s like an hour back to Schitt’s Creek.”

Patrick stuck out his bottom lip in a dramatic pout and suddenly, David wanted nothing more than to kiss that pout right off his lips. Patrick must have been thinking the same thing, because the next thing he knew, their lips were connecting in a slow, soft kiss. 

“Thank you,” Patrick said as they pulled apart.

“What for?” David asked. 

“I’ve um- I’ve never done that before with a guy.”

“Oh.” David was trying not to panic he just crossed a line. 

“And I was starting to think I’d let you leave here tonight without us having done that. So thank you.” 

There was that smile again. That smile that made David’s stomach flip. The smile that made David feel things he’d never felt before. 

Suddenly the lyrics of the song Patrick had sang were coming back to him

_ I feel like a loser _   
_ I feel like I'm lost _   
_ I feel like I'm not sure _   
_ If I feel anything at all _   
_ But believe me _   
_ I'm not helpless _   
_ I just need someone to love _   
_ So my situation's rough _   
_ That just makes me a dumb human _ _   
_Like you.

David was recontextualizing the words now after spending the evening with Patrick and learning more about him, most importantly that before a minute ago he’d never kissed a man but was clearly okay with that development. 

Patrick has said when he introduced the song he’d been going through some hard times. Nothing like a mid-life identity crisis to make you re-evaluate everything. 

David knew about himself pretty young. In fact he can’t really remember a time he was ever at gripes with his sexuality. He just liked people, it never mattered their gender, it just wasn't until he was older he learned there was a name for that. So he can only imagine what it must be like to live your life thinking you identify one way only to have that change. 

**“**Gimme your phone,” David said. He was about to do something he’s not sure he’s ever actually done willingly. 

“What? Why?”

“Just gimme.” Patrick handed over his phone and David took it and typed in his phone number, saving it as a contact. “There,” he said handing the phone back. “Now you have my number.”

Patrick looked down at his phone, smiling wide, and started typing something. A few seconds later, David’s phone chimed with an incoming text. 

**I’m really glad to have met you**

David looked up from his phone to see Patrick smiling that bright, wide smile he was learning to love at him. David returned the smile. 

“Now you have my number too,” Patrick said. 

They leaned in for another kiss, which was cut short at the sound of the front door to the bar opening. 

“That would be Stevie.”

“Which means you have to go?”

“Unfortunately.”

“Can we talk tomorrow?”

“We can talk whenever you’d like. Though preferably not before 10 AM. I don’t do mornings.”

“Got it. One more for the road?” David smiled and nodded, leaning in for one last, lingering kiss. 

“Goodnight Patrick.”

“Goodnight David.”

It took all his willpower to get up off that bar stool and walk over to meet Stevie. He had a feeling this wouldn’t be the last time he saw Patrick, but they still were virtually strangers so it was not a guarantee. 

“Who was that?” Stevie asked, waggling her eyebrows suggestively. 

“Patrick,” David might have replied with more of a sigh than he intended. 

Stevie raised an eyebrow. She knew David better than anyone. He never cared to learn the names of his randoms so the fact that he had just given her a name meant something. 

“Come on, let’s go,” he said, knowing the longer they stayed in the bar, the harder it was going to be for David to walk away. 

When they got to the car, David’s phone chimed with another incoming text. He gasped as he read it. 

**Patrick: I think I might have forgotten to mention this earlier, but I don’t live here in Maple Valley. I actually moved to Schitt’s Creek two weeks ago. So what do you say breakfast tomorrow? Cafe Tropicale? 10:30 AM?**

“Stop the car!” David yelled, but Stevie hadn’t even put the key in the ignition yet so they were still parked. “I’ll be right back. One minute.”

David ran from the car back into the bar. Okay, well didn’t quite run, but he hastily made his way back into the bar. Back to the man who, as cliche as it sounded, had captured his heart. 

Patrick was still sitting in the same place at the bar. He was looking down at his phone, likely waiting for David’s reply. David’s reply did not come in text though. Instead, David crashed their mouths together in a bruising kiss. 

“I guess I’ll take that as a yes to breakfast?” Patrick asked with a chuckle. 

“Why didn’t you tell me you lived in Schitt’s Creek?!?”

“Pretty sure I just did,” Patrick said shaking the phone still in his hand. David just rolled his eyes. “So breakfast?”

“Make it 11:00 and I’m there. I’ll need time to get ready in the morning.”

“It’s a date,” Patrick said, as if to ensure his intentions are clear. 

“Yes. It’s a date,” David confirmed. “Okay, now I really do have to go. Stevie is going to be annoyed I kept her waiting.” He leaned in for one more kiss, then turned to leave the bar for the second time that night. 

When he got back to the car, Stevie gave him one of her signature looks. 

“So Patrick…” was all she said, and even just with that David knew she was going to get everything out of him on this hour long drive back home. And frankly, he wanted to tell her. Because he had a feeling Patrick was going to become an important staple in his life. And maybe, he was finally ready to really feel. 


End file.
